he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
