Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
