He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
