Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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