so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
