I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
