The brown eye won't let me do that either.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it's great music for shaving your balls
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
