hotel room ftw
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
