Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
