it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Your penis caused this!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
