I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
and you fell through a lawn chair
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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