We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
