Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
