You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
