Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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