Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
