Having a random hookup so left but love u
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
