all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
