Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
