I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
