It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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