We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
