Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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