How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
