it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I didn't notice because vodka
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
