..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
