Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
