I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
