Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
