your parents love me but you hate me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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