chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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