I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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