you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
