I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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