Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Green mimosas i think yes
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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