Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
