Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
