the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We need to feng shui this bitch.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
