His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
