i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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