Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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