did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
