chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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