Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize