hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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