I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
