Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
