Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
