yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Text me some of your sweat
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
