then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize