And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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