i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
