dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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