I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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