Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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