did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
how drunk are you?
Several
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
