what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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